Dana Beers woke up early for this one. The Kings Cup Round of 16 kicked off at 11 AM and Beers, self-appointed superfan of both Argentina and, depending on the scoreboard, Egypt, was fully locked in before a ball was even kicked.
Dana Beers going all-in on Argentina before kickoff.
That optimism did not last. Egypt came out and punched first, and it wasn't even close to a fluke. A goal from the run of play put Egypt up 1-0, and the Barstool crew watching along was already recalibrating expectations for the reigning World Cup champs.
Egypt's opener that flipped the whole vibe of the match.
Then it got worse. Argentina had a golden chance to answer immediately from the penalty spot, and Messi stepped up to take it himself. The Egyptian keeper guessed right, Messi went right, and the shot was denied cold. Zah was already screaming about the officiating before the rebound even settled, and Dana Beers had officially jumped ship, half-joking that his Egyptian blood made this a win-win outcome for him personally.
Messi's penalty kick, saved outright, digging Argentina's hole even deeper.
Egypt didn't let up. A second goal made it 2-0 well into the second half, and by then the reaction accounts had fully turned. Unbiased Ev was out here writing Messi's obituary in real time, and Pardon My Take was already framing Egypt as the team with a puncher's chance to reach the quarterfinals. It looked, for a real stretch, like one of the biggest World Cup upsets in recent memory was actually happening.
Egypt's second goal, putting Argentina in a 2-0 hole late.
And then everything flipped in about the time it takes to microwave a burrito. Argentina scored 3 times in roughly 10 minutes, turning a funeral into a party. Clem admitted he wasn't even watching live when the tying goal went in, screaming Messi's name into a stream that had already moved on without him. Marty Mush called it the fastest 3-goal stretch he'd ever seen, and he wasn't exaggerating by much.
The final whistle: Argentina completes the comeback and books a quarterfinal spot.
Argentina walks away with a 3-2 win and a date in the final 8 against the Switzerland-Colombia winner, and the whole thing plays like a perfect encapsulation of why this team is must-watch even when it's terrifying. Marty Mush summed up the room's mood best, and honestly it's hard to argue with him after a game that went from disaster to euphoria in under 15 minutes of match time.