If you follow English football on this side of the timeline, you already know the vibe. Arsenal got a result, the refs let a lot of contact go, and roughly half the internet decided the Premier League is rigged. Zah, the resident Gooner at Barstool, is treating it like Christmas morning. He's been online basically nonstop laughing at screenshots, breaking down clips frame by frame, and inventing a brand new diagnosis for the rest of the football world: Arsenal Derangement Syndrome.
Zah lays out the ADS theory using the Raya sequence as exhibit A.
The flashpoint, of course, was the Declan Rice play. Chief called it the most egregious foul (or fouls, plural) on a goal in recent memory and went straight into mourning. Zah's response was, predictably, to tell him to start practicing his guard of honor. That's the energy all weekend — Chief filing grievances, Zah filing receipts.
The Chief grievance that kicked off 48 hours of back-and-forth.
Zah's reply, immediately pivoting to guard-of-honor mode.
@BarstoolChief 😂🤣😂🤣 get ready to learn guard of honor buddy!
Then it just kept going. People kept sliding into his mentions with circled-up screenshots of every bit of contact in the box, and he kept patiently (or, fine, not that patiently) explaining why Saliba leaning into a keeper is legal, why Pedro head-butting Raya's gloves isn't a punch, and why Gabriel's arm swinging on a jump is, in fact, what arms do when humans jump. He even admitted out loud that this might be his favorite stretch of internet he's ever had.
Zah on the flood of MS-Paint-circled screenshots.
He just doesn't want the bit to end.
Today has been one of my favorite days on twitter since I started interneting. I just don’t want it to end 🤣😂😭😭
Then came the bigger picture take, which is the one that's actually going to age the best. Zah, channeling Rico Bosco, called Arteta the football economy — the guy keeping journalists, podcasters and take merchants fed, clothed and housed. It's a real point dressed up as a shitpost. Arsenal-rage is a content engine now. Every dropped point or controversial whistle is a week of media tours and YouTube thumbnails for people whose entire livelihood depends on Arteta existing.
The football economy thesis, in one tweet.
In the words of the great Rico Bosco, we are the football economy. Arteta has kept a lot of journalists and internet takes merchants fed, clothed and housed these last few years. They’re doing media tours for something that they can’t change 🤣😂🤣😂
Even the next match kept giving him material. A VAR check that looked locked in on producing a penalty got waved off by Chris Kavanagh on the field, and Zah — who has historically not been Chris Kavanagh's biggest fan — issued a full public apology to the man. Mixed in with all of it was a genuinely sad note about a long-serving Arsenal player who's reportedly on his way out, a reminder that under all the trolling, this guy actually loves the club. But mostly? He's enjoying every second of being right while everyone else loses their minds.
Kavanagh waves off the VAR penalty and Zah immediately switches alignments.
The one moment of genuine sadness in the middle of the victory lap.
Fuck man! Knew this was coming but this sucks! This really really sucks man. What a player man! Proper servant of the club. This sucks man! 😭😭