The Wonton Don's beat is supposed to be sketchy back alleys in countries you can't pronounce. This week the assignment got a lot more wholesome: a 37-year-old man cosplaying as a Labrador at a place called Duke's K9 Dash N' Splash. If you've never heard of dock diving, it's exactly what it sounds like — dogs sprint down a runway and launch themselves into a pool for distance. Donnie decided to try it himself.
Shirtless, sunglasses on, the 37-year-old takes the dog dock and sends it into the pool.
The setting is Windham, Ohio, which is not exactly on the international travel-blogger circuit, but Duke's is a real dog sports complex and Donnie is, somehow, a real competitor in this thing. Lucky One can in hand, dachshund-shaped crossbody bag on his shoulder — the man committed to the bit harder than most actual dock-diving handlers commit to their dogs.
The on-site footage cuts between an actual pup nailing a jump and Donnie posted up in the DiveAtDukes.com gear.
What sells it is that he's not even doing this ironically. Donnie's pitch is genuinely that you should get your dog into dock diving — fun for the whole family, plug for Lucky One, the whole production. It plays like a stealth tourism ad for a sport almost nobody knows exists outside of ESPN8 reruns.
Donnie's own endorsement, with the Lucky One shout baked in.
And because no Wonton Don field trip is complete without a weird food find, the concession stand reportedly served sushi-style ice cream where the rice is actually rice crispie treats. Dock-diving dogs and dessert sushi in the same parking lot. Ohio remains undefeated.
The sushi ice cream evidence, rice crispie 'rice' and all.
