There are bad nights in Queens and then there are nights where the bit writes itself before first pitch. Wednesday was the second kind. Before the Mets even took the field, somebody in the marketing department decided the move was to have the voice of Patrick Star handle the starting lineup intros. Cute idea for a first-place team. Less cute when your offense is about to get no-hit into oblivion.
The actual Patrick Star lineup intro that kicked the whole night off.
You can argue it's harmless fun. Rico Bo$co is not in the mood to argue. His take was pretty simple: every organization needs a common sense department, and the Mets, currently dreadful, are exactly the kind of team that should not be cosplaying as a SpongeBob bit while getting steamrolled. When the product on the field is this bad, the gimmicks stop reading as charming and start reading as oblivious.
Rico Bo$co with the room-read nobody in the Mets front office apparently had.
Every team needs a common sense department especially the Mets bc it’s just such a bad look to be doing this when the team is dreadful
Enter Frank the Tank, who has basically turned nightly Mets misery into appointment content. By the time the game was out of reach, he was tweeting in full meltdown mode — focus is on coaching, the team is unaware of the levels of embarrassment they're reaching, the whole bit. This is the guy Barstool now packages as the official Mets update, and you can hear the exhaustion in real time.
The nightly Frank the Tank Mets debrief, which has become its own genre.
The kicker is how perfectly the two storylines collided. A team that needs to be quietly grinding through a bad stretch instead handed the mic to a fictional starfish and then went out and got smacked anyway. Tank's point all night was that this isn't a vibes problem you fix with a fun PA gag — it's a focus problem, a coaching problem, an organizational self-awareness problem. The Patrick Star bit just gave everyone the perfect visual for it.
Tank's blunt diagnosis after another night of getting run.
Every team needs a common sense department especially the Mets bc it’s just such a bad look to be doing this when the team is dreadful
Until somebody upstairs reads the room, this is the loop: bad baseball, dumb gimmicks, NjTank torching it all on the timeline, and the rest of us watching the Mets get dunked on by a SpongeBob character. Honestly, at this point, Patrick running things might be an upgrade.