Ohio's Tate Threatens Burns Over Ohio State Fan Ranking
TLDR: Ohio's Tate gave Burns 10 minutes to take back where he landed in a ranking of the Chicago office's Ohio State fans, and Burns reportedly answered by pleading that he'd been about to buy Tate Jeremiah Smith's shoes.
Some context on why Tate might be touchy right now. Ohio State blew a lead in Austin on September 12 and lost 24-23 to Texas. Jeremiah Smith was great in that game, with 8 catches for 164 yards and a touchdown, and it still wasn't enough. Tate spent the next week doing a punishment for the loss on the Yak, and he'd already decided how much of the blame belongs to Ryan Day.
“I'm going to do a blame burger here soon where I take a bite of each burger as big as how much the blame should be.” – Tate
So Tate was already stewing over the Texas loss and trying to eat his way through it, and then someone told him Burns is the bigger Ohio State fan. That's not a ranking he can let stand. Nicky Smokes, who has been on the other side of Tate before, called it early and said Tate is the last person he'd want in a receipt war. Not long after, Nicky reported how Burns was taking the deadline.
Tate: you have 15 minutes to take it back Burns: I was gonna get you Jeremiah Smiths shoes 😭😭😭😭😭😭
If that's really how it went, the Jeremiah Smith shoes are either the best peace offering in office history or the most obvious panic move you'll ever see. Buying off the guy threatening you with gear from his favorite player is smart. It's also not what a bigger Ohio State fan would do. Nothing in the evidence says whether Burns has actually taken it back or whether any shoes showed up. Tate's clock ran out a while ago, so what to watch now is whether Burns gives in on camera, whether the shoes actually get bought, and whether Poor Decisions sticks with its ranking.
The fight is over who the biggest Buckeyes fan in the Chicago office is. According to the story's setup, a Poor Decisions ranking of the office's Ohio State fans put Burns ahead of Tate. That's a bad ranking to lose if you're Tate. He has covered Ohio State for Barstool since 2018, and he quit his teaching job and moved to Chicago when Dave Portnoy gave him a full-time job in 2024. Being the Ohio State guy is basically his whole job. Burns getting ranked ahead of him wasn't going to slide.
Burns, here is a fair warning: I will end you. I’ve laid down the sword, but I will add another teardrop to my face if needed.
The teardrop line is a joke, obviously, and so is everything that followed. Tate says he laid down the sword, then picks it right back up. About 15 minutes after that first warning, he escalated to a deadline and a threat that Hiroshima would look like Candy Land, which is about as subtle as a Buckeyes fan gets in September.
Burns has 10 minutes. Hiroshima will look like Candy Land if he does not disavow what he said. We will find you. And we will kill you. @therealburns3
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