Portnoy and Elio Turn Belmont Day Into An All-Day Bender

Then the day did what horse racing always does — it punched everyone in the mouth. Race 3 at Saratoga turned into a Syndicate funeral when the 3/5 chalk Intellect (FR) ran the field down in the stretch. Portnoy's reaction was, uh, vivid. Not exactly a Hallmark card for Elio and the crew.

Dave Portnoy

@stoolpresidente

This game will rip your balls off and shove them down your throat and then watch you choke on them and die. Just an awful beat here for @elio82 and tbe Syndicate

Elio kept firing anyway, because that is the only acceptable response to a bad beat. A 6 win-place here, a 6-2 exacta box there, eventually a 7 to win with 7-2 and 7-4 exactas as the card rolled toward the main event. Portnoy, meanwhile, made it onto the actual Fox Belmont broadcast desk alongside Joe Buck and Charissa Thompson, which prompted Elio to publicly lobby him to box the 6 and 7.

elio imbornone

@elio82

Come on dave Box the 6,7

Somewhere between losing tickets and merch drops — yes, there is now a 48-hour Tea By the Track hat — Portnoy went full old-man-yells-at-cloud about his racing origin story. The verdict on the long-shuttered Boston track where he spent a million hours of his life: ''Suffolk Downs was unequivocally a dump.'' Total dump. That is the whole Belmont day in one tweet — a guy who grew up in the worst racetrack in America now hosting the biggest one on TV, still chasing the same exacta.