England is through to the World Cup semifinal, but nobody who watched the quarterfinal against Norway is going to remember it as clean. Jude Bellingham dragged the Three Lions level in first-half stoppage time after Andreas Schjelderup put Norway ahead in the 36th minute, and from there the match turned into 120 minutes of controversy, disallowed goals and a substitution nobody could explain in real time.
Norway thought they'd retaken the lead in the second half before the goal got wiped off the board on review.
That's the kind of night it was. Norway had a goal chalked off for a foul after a review, and Barstool's crowd was split between calling it a robbery and calling it long overdue justice for a physical, chippy match. Kenjac summed up the officiating gripes that ran through the whole broadcast, complaining the ref let England "get assists off the camera cable" while whistling Norway for contact in the box (post-068c75c8-faa9-427b-b950-99587870b9cb), and Eric Hubbs pointed out the Haaland foul call that swung momentum "had nothing to do with the play" (post-e9ca94ed-aa4c-484b-b49d-f4f71136034f). Robbie Fox went full conspiracy theorist, screaming about a "Miami screwjob" as the decisions piled up (post-29fa76f6-b2c8-479d-a4c1-594f7de3e6b7).
Regulation ended locked at 1-1, sending the match to extra time, where Bellingham delivered the moment that actually decided things. According to ESPN, England's go-ahead goal came just 3 minutes into the first extra period, when Morgan Rogers ripped a shot that the Norwegian keeper could only spill right in front of goal for Bellingham to finish. It gave the Real Madrid midfielder his second of the match and tied him with Harry Kane atop England's tournament scoring chart at 6 goals apiece.
Bellingham's extra-time strike put England ahead for good and sent the broadcast into a frenzy.
The goal itself wasn't even the biggest story of extra time. With Norway chasing an equalizer and needing every bit of Haaland's threat up top, Norway pulled him at the intermission between the two extra-time periods, reportedly with exhaustion setting in on their talisman. Barstool's reaction was immediate disbelief. "HOW DO YOU TAKE OFF HAALAND?!?" Kenjac wrote as the sub went in (post-a83df9a9-9f24-4def-a3d2-ca4ea6d71d92), while Eric Hubbs, who admitted he doesn't know much about soccer, still knew enough to be stunned a team would bench its best player with a World Cup spot on the line (post-5aa89194-ea5a-4529-b1c6-88180a898e36).
Whatever the reasoning, it didn't work. Norway couldn't find the equalizer without their striker, and England held on to close it out 2-1 and punch their ticket to the semifinal. Dave Portnoy, never shy about needling a superstar for coming off the field, took the moment to praise Kane for playing "offense and defense and everything else inbetween" without needing a breather (post-79eb56d9-db58-4b69-88a0-6b964b484a26).
England players celebrated the extra-time win as the broadcast set up the next round.
England now waits to see who they'll face in the semifinal, the winner of Argentina and Switzerland, with the match set for Wednesday in Atlanta. Whether it's Messi's Argentina or a Swiss side playing spoiler, England takes a group of players who've already survived two goals from Bellingham, a VAR-reviewed disallowed goal and a mystifying opposing substitution to get here. Norway, meanwhile, heads home wondering what might have been if Haaland had stayed on the pitch.