The Yak has never pretended to be a hard news show, and Monday's episode leaned all the way into that. Between segments on inner-office rumors, the crew cleared some patio space for Green Greg to attempt an actual Guinness World Record: fastest time to eat a burrito.
The Yak is the only internet show where you can come for the inner office rumor mill breakdown, and stay for Barstool Green Greg very slowly eating a burrito.
That's not a made-up bit, either. The real record belongs to British speed eater Leah Shutkever, who ate a burrito in 30.753 seconds at Guinness World Records headquarters in London this past August. That number is the bar The Yak set for Green Greg to clear, and it's an absurd one — swallowing an entire burrito in under 31 seconds is closer to competitive eating than lunch.
Green Greg attempted to finish a burrito in 30 seconds to break the world record. It took him 9 minutes 32 seconds.
The Yak's own account confirmed the final number, and it wasn't close: 9 minutes, 32 seconds. That's not a near-miss on a 30-second record, that's a full-blown burrito dinner with a stopwatch running the whole time. Footage of the attempt shows Green Greg, in a Kansas City Royals tee, working through the burrito outside on a patio with an on-screen timer counting up as he goes — and coughing at one point, which tracks for anyone trying to inhale that much food that fast.
.@iambarstoolgreg tries to break the burrito speed eating record
Naturally, the internet noticed the pace problem in real time. Hannah Montoya called out what everyone watching could see for themselves — Green Greg was eating that burrito at, in her words, a normal ass pace, which is a polite way of saying this was never on track to threaten a Guinness record to begin with.
Eating that burrito at a normal ass pace @iambarstoolgreg
There's no word yet on whether Green Greg gets a second crack at the record or if this was strictly a one-and-done bit for the show. Either way, the gap between the ambition (30 seconds, a world record) and the result (9 minutes and 32 seconds, a leisurely lunch) is exactly the kind of self-aware, low-stakes chaos that keeps people tuning into The Yak in the first place.