Chief drops the Dog Walk snake draft standings for 2026
TLDR: Chief rolled out the 2026 Dog Walk snake draft standings on Wednesday one graphic at a time, with Ed landing bronze and TheClemReport getting singled out for a stellar year.
Every Dog Walk snake draft ends in an argument, and the year-end standings are where those arguments get settled. Chief warned everybody before posting a single number.
"Some narratives are about to change" is the kind of line that makes every guy on the show nervous, because the narratives on this show are mostly insults about who drafts badly. Chief didn't post one big leaderboard. He dropped the standings over about 2 hours, starting from the bottom, so the bad news came first.
4th place (dead last on the poll)
Dead last on the poll is the worst place to be on this show. You can talk all the trash you want during a draft, but the poll is how the listeners grade you, and a graphic with your name in last place sticks around for a year. Then came the podium, and Ed is on it.
Bronze Ed
"Bronze Ed" is going to stick as a nickname. Third is a perfectly respectable finish, but it's also exactly the spot where you can't brag and you can't really complain either. The bigger shoutout went to TheClemReport, who apparently put together the kind of year that rearranges the pecking order Chief was teasing.
Stellar year for @TheClemReport
Part of why these standings matter to people is that the drafts themselves are half research project, half chaos. Two weeks ago, during the Things We Refuse To Believe Draft, Chief came to the table with a fact he was sure nobody else would take.
“Actually doing some research for this draft today... Apparently bananas are radioactive. Would have never figured.” – Chief
That's the whole appeal. A pick like that can win you a round or get you laughed off the poll, and either way it goes into the ledger Chief just made public. The drafting hasn't slowed down now that the standings are out, either. WSD says he just went through a draft of things we want to know before we die with Katie and Danny Conrad, and called it a barn burner.
Drafted a bunch of “things we want to know before we die” with @Katiemoneygrabz and @DannyJConrad this week. Was a barn burner. Tune in on @barstoolchicago
Now that the 2026 numbers are public, every pick from here on comes with a scoreboard attached. The guy at the bottom has a whole new season of drafts to climb out, Ed has to figure out whether bronze is a ceiling or a floor, and Clem has a target on his back. Chief said the narratives would change, and the next draft is where we find out if they actually do.
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